lets start from here

at times when the feeling is strong, the thoughts and words just seem to pour out from every pore on my skin. but when the feeling is not fed, left neglected, i soon forget those clouds in my mind.
but if feelings need to be fed, are these thoughts still true? or are they (again) one of those feelings that are only important at that point of time, forgotten once the feeling is weak.

i've always wanted to write, to record the chronology of my life. i'd wanted to write about everything, when the feeling was strong, when the words kept coming. but i never started.

it might have been too much movies and fictions, but i've always wanted to be able to learn about myself if i lose my memory one day. and i hope that by writing, i'd be able to do so.
cause even if i don't lose my memory 'one day', someday, in future, i might not remember the things i use to know, the things that i know i should remember.

i think i know myself best. i know the devil in me. i know the angel who fights occasionally. and i know that i'm the biased judge between the devil and the angel in me. so if i don't write to tell myself about myself, no one would be in a better position to tell me who i am than myself.

however, because devil and angel always debates, i'm sometimes confused. i can't define myself. i wonder if i'm more of devil or angel. or maybe i should just accept it that i'm the combination of both, just like any other people.

i wonder ...
is it time to start?
is this where to start?
what should i start with?
what did i plan to start with?