i think, no. sex or making love (to show some respect to the act) is only a temporary relieve from the on-going stress. yes, when you're at it, you get transported to another world/heaven/hell/the in-betweens, or wherever, you name it. but that's only for as long as it lasts. in the end, nothing but your endorphin level changes, and you still return to your routine.
hmm...who am i kidding now? aren't all forms of destress-ing strategies just a temporary diversion from the root cause of the problem? so there goes. i have to contradict myself within a minute- ok. so maybe de-stressing strategies like the one mentioned above does help a bit, in some ways. but it ain't gonna help me this time around. i need a permanent fix instead of a momentary relieve. if i went on allowing myself this sort of diversion, i'd be relying on it forever, like going round in a loop and never tackling the core of the anxiety-causing problem. i know the solution, or i think i know, because i've been procrastinating trying it. yeah! i know i deserve feeling like shit, down with this self-caused stress.
i'm not gonna name the cause or solution but let me use this analogy to liken my situation: today, i have a pile of clothes waiting to be folded before being stowed away in the closet. i put them aside because i have other 'more important' things to do, eg: spending time with my sister, going to the gym, brainstorming a new recipe etc...like real! what's more important than facebook-ing and hanging out with friends. so, tomorrow, i have another pile of clothes on top of today's pile because i'm meeting some friends to go for a breakfast, lunch, and dinner buffet. and the following day, my schedule will be too packed with mani, pedi and facial appointments to tend to that piling clothes.
hence, with the buildup, the burden gets heavier each day. of late, it has come to an extend where i feel it in my body, see it in my face. on the body, it's a strange kind of hot flushing sensation at my back, right through the chest area. on the face is are ...sigh...unmentionables. not even the world's best concealer can do its job. sigh x10,000.
this whole stress thing has been bothering me, being at the back of my mind in the day, and haunting me in my dreams. today, i said, E.N.O.U.G.H! or rather, i went to 'find answers'. here are some that i remembered:
#1 claimed most sophisticated, up to the minute, cutting edge science is self-healing, eg: exercise, healthy diet and regular sleep, none of which is anywhere close to my 27 years 15years (maybe the first 12 years when i wasn't put in charge of my life, i might have had a healthy diet and regular sleep) of daily practise.
#2 "work in a career you love" - i've been plotting my next move since last year. let's not go here 'cuz this just might be the root of the root of my stress.
#3 having the me-time, doing the things you love to do but have not made time to. prioritize them and enter top 5 items in daily calendar - hmm...i shall ponder on this right now. in random order,
item1: go to the park by the beach. indulge in my favourite novel.
item2: go to the park by the beach. cycle while listening to my favourite songs.
item3: go to the park by the beach. have a picnic.
item4: ...(stuck at item4 for 72secs) maybe it's too late to think of more. maybe i'm just easily contented. but i can't be doing all these 3 everyday. i'll get sick of them in no time. maybe i'm not easily contented after all.
(ting! *lightbulb lights*)
item5: turn out the lights. light some scented candles and scatter them around the room. fill the room with slow soothing jazz. play sudoku. or take a bubble bath.
after so much of blabbering; if i think i need order in my life, do you think it's just an excuse for an escape?
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