out of my head

tonight, i feel uneasy.
i don't know why. i can't put a name to this feeling.
this strange feeling. i've never felt like this before.
or have i?

-- life is short yet complicated.
sometimes you think you're doing it right.
other times, you reflect and think you could do better.
but there's no turning back time.
for a second, i wonder; what would i be thinking when i'm taking my last breath --

why do i feel like this?
is it from too many death scenes on monster's ball?
is it from too many COFs?
is it from having too much milk tea today?

or is it from the fear of too many uncertainties?

cuz nothing beats...

a drink of coca-cola fresh from a freezing can

tell me. who wouldn't agree?!

let's have some bailey's tonight

did i tell you what's my 2nd favourite drink?

there's a heaven, somewhere on earth

the gift of solitary

the music's playing
wind's blowing
i sat by the window
closed my eyes
imagined the clear blue sea before my eyes
imagined the waves beating the white sandy shore
imagined the cool sea breeze
feels good to loose myself for just a while
let my thoughts run free
transport myself miles away from this reality

***and let time pause***

opened my eyes
and reality hit me
i could see a bit of green
but that is of several puny trees and plants
standing aligned at the perimeters of tall buildings
i look into the windows
wondering if i might spot someone looking out the window
someone just like me
finding a solitary moment

NO. who would be doing that on a tuesday afternoon?
most of all, who in their right mind would try looking for a solitary moment by the window of their hdb flat?
isn't that pathetic?

but who cares? as long as I FEEL GOOD! even for that few minutes....

the answers are everywhere

but there are so many answers to one question.

angel vs devil

these days, angel's been keeping me on track;
doing the right things,
saying the niceties,
thinking the positives.

but...(there always has to be a 'but')
devil has planted a poison deep in my roots.
there's this negative thought that i can never kick.
i've always believed that everything will come to an end.
someday, somehow.

when you're having a good time, you know, that slowly, but surely...
it will come to an end.
and then it's time for pay back; for all the good that you've been luxuriating.
of course, vice-versa.

however, when in bad times, the problem looms as big as the universe.
we feel as though the whole world has tumble down upon us.
hours seem like days, weeks seem like months.
we are stuck 'forever'.
although, truth is, it will be over, sooner or later;
but, the light at the end of the tunnel seems like a long long way to reach.

hence, now, as i'm indulging myself, thinking happy, being happy, flying with time;
i silently fear the end of these days, as the clock ticks by.