Friday, June 26, 2009

sometimes you just have to carry on

spare a moment for these piece. allow it to sink in.

we all encounter moments when we think we just can't go on; when we blame anything and everything, and even ourselves for the trials we are going through. if you are going through that point in your life, i hope this helps you...

when life hands you a surprise and you wind up somewhere you didn't plan on being, maybe it's time to stop and rest, read some good books, regroup, and stop trying so hard. do some things you may not have taken the time to do for yourself before. take time to study; all of us need to be constantly growing in wisdom. feed your soul by being quiet, by just being rather than doing.

try not to worry or fuss or fume. try to look at this situation as a challenge rather than an obstacle, a time to develop patience. say to yourself: "i can handle this. this is not too big for me." realize you can change your attitude even if you can't change the circumstances.

look closely at your troubles. don't let them cause you to give up. befriend them. say: "i'm not afraid. i'm going to learn from you." feel them lose their power over you. allow them to teach you some lesson you needed to learn and move on.

you're going to deal with this. you're going to uncover some things about yourself even you didn't know. you're going to find strength you didn't know you had and grace to handle whatever comes along.

just remember that everything changes, so it's just a matter of time until this trial will be over and you will draw strength from the knowledge that even though life handed you challenge, you survivedl you carried on.

- donna fargo

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

FREEDOM at last...

got my test result today and as the title suggests, the door to my cage has finally open.
what more can i say.
thank you for keeping me in your prayers.

-------------------

i once stumbled upon this quote while surfing the net, and i thought it'd be nice to share. so, here goes:-

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
-Epicurus (Greek philosopher, BC 341-270)

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

this is what you do...

when you get locked within 4 walls for 24 hours:
1. take pictures of every meal you're served with
2. post them on your blog
3. write 3-4 entries in your blog in 8hours
4. surf the net until nothing interests you anymore
5. disturb friends at work
6. try and fail, then try and fail again to focus on important things like your books
and lastly...
7. stare at the goddamn phone...argh..i'm going crazy. i need to get out.


snack time: strawberries in manuka honey, collon strawberry biscuit roll, yakult

dinner: seafood hor fun, orange juice

the limit

initially, it feels all right just being in the room. it's a comfy place no doubt. i could spend hours on my lappy. and now that i have a new game to keep me occupied, time could really fly.

but...(here's the inevitable 'but') after almost 22 hours of complete shut-out from the real world, i'm beginning to fidget on my seat, staring at the phone as if willing it to ring. it seems the virtual world of the internet can only help that much.

why aren't they calling me??!! call me! call me!

at least let me know the outcome, whatever it may be. i had enough of waiting. how can they keep someone in suspense for so long. especially when it is with regards to the person's health.

2 more minutes to 7pm. and the nurse told me they'd call 'by 7pm'.
ring phone, ring!

my in-room catered lunch

lean meat porridge with baby carrots, apples and strawberries, a cup of manuka honey drink

my first meal specially prepared by dear sis.

THANK YOU...MUAXX

what a day

spent an entire day in clinic and hospital.

been down with a bad sorethroat that developed into the flu since i came back from london 2 days ago. thought i'd rest one full day and be up and running again the following day. but, no. wasn't that lucky. nose-block got worse during the night, had difficulty breathing and sleeping.

woke up after noon, had a bread before going to the clinic (luckily). timing myself to be back in approximately an hour or so after the consultation, i throw my laundry in the washing machine to wash, thinking that i'll be back home as soon as it's done washing to hang them out. then i left for the clinic.

as part of the procedure, i was asked to fill in a form pertaining to my whereabouts in the past 2 weeks and my current health condition. since i just came back from london, one of the city that is categorized as an affected area for local transmission of h1n1, i had to be isolated from the rest of the patients in the clinic.

from then on, everything feels abnormal...never have i been through any of these situations before. so, i've no knowledge whatsoever to prepare myself for anything ahead of me.

the doctor came into the 'special' room that i was put in, and did the usual stuff; check temperature, check throat, check breathing and then he showed me the list of affected areas and told me that he will have to send me to the hospital for screening of the h1n1 influenza since i was just back from the UK, with the flu. i was especially stunned when he mentioned about arranging a transport for me to the hospital.

i ask, "what transport?".
he said, "an ambulance".
"can i just take a cab there?", just trying my luck.
but of course, i know i was being ridiculous. it's a procedure and it's all over the news already.

i sat there in the room wondering how it's like to be in an ambulance. how embarassing to be walking into one...

was asking sis over sms, "will there be a brown paper bag for me to put over my head?"
sis says, "yeah, you probably need one so that if any reporter wants to interview you, you'd be glad you have the bag on since you don't have your make up on."
damn! is that all i am, a vain pot?

...it's a different story if you're on a stretcher. anyway, let's not go where it's sensitive. no one wants to be in an ambulance.

i waited for 3 to 4 torturing hours within the four walls of the room.

ambulance finally came. got the weird eye from passer-bys. what an awkward moment. glad i had my spectacles and the face mask on. but even if i hadn't, no one would know me. it's just a sense of security knowing you're masked.

to cut a long story short (although it's already long enough), will let the pictures do the talking...(promise to take better pictures next time)

civic ambulance welcomes you on board
for those who has never been and will never be in an ambulance...it's creepy being in here, imagine what the interior has seen...
and here's the temporary set-up for patients with h1n1 symptoms. the ambulance drop-off point is right outside here instead of the usual A&E entrance. it all feels so alien to me. but the doctors and nurses are nice and caring. imagine the long and stressful hours they have to endure...and then they still maintain that warmth. 10 points for them.
this will be the holding area where patients wait for their medications, results, or an ambulance to bring them back home
each patient gets his/her own table 2metres away from another. as you can see, the patients' area is equipped with a bin for your used-tissues and other trash, a bottle of sanitizer, a box of tissue and an attendant call-bell.

and on the surface of the table is this note. read.

after a few more hours of waiting, i was sent home in another ambulance. was told to be put on home quarantine. meaning, i'll have to isolate myself from the general public until the hospital informs me of my test result which is out within 8-24hours. in this case, as i'm staying with my housemates instead of my family, it's just right that i do not leave my room so to not have any contacts with them.

funny thing is...(i still find it amusing even though this is all suppposed to be taken seriously) i have to lock myself in my room and sis will 'deliver' food to my 'doorstep'. i'll open the door. retrieve the stuffs. close and lock myself back in.

lucky thing is...i have an attached bathroom in my room. otherwise, there'll be additional precautionary steps to be taken to answer nature's calls instead of the usual few-steps.

from small talks with the attending doctors and one of the hospital staff, i gathered that at least 700-800 patient's suspected with the h1n1 flu are sent to the hospitals from clinics all over singapore for screening, each day. with this overwhelming number, it's no wonder why the ambulance took 4hours to reach the clinic i was at. i just hope that they'd have standbys for emergencies. one thing i discovered from this whole experience is that the asian countries are well prepared for pandemics like this ever since the catastrophic SARS hit. we can only hope that the current situation doesn't get worse.

NOW that all is said and done, it's bedtime for the sick cat.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

this one small part of my life called contentment

half the day has just passed here in london but it's one of the nicest half-day already.

why?

had the food i've been craving for - gold mine duck rice...mmmm yummz..taste still ingers in my mouth...*burp*...mmm...i can grow fat with this indulgence...

will i ever get sick of it if i get to have duck rice everyday? i don't know about this. but i guess you appreciate the things more when you have to work hard for it, eg: having to walk an approximate-13-tiresome-hours to finally get to enjoy a nice huge portion of tender succulent 'ngap-pei' (duck leg) with rice...*slurp*..makes me salivate just typing it..sigh, why have i never snapped a picture of this awesome meal? i'll try to do it next time around...when my mind manages to slot in 'take a picture' over 'savour the meal now' on its priority to-do list.

apart from the duck rice, the before and after serving of a bowl of pork rib steamed soup and a plate of sweet and juicy cut oranges makes the 3-courses meal a to-die-for meal. i could walk several more 13hours...

after filling up a more than contented tummy, went for a walk at hyde park. the weather was GREAT. cloudy skies + cool breeze + the lush green and bright blue combination of colors makes me wanna sing and skip along like a child.

along the way, something caught my attention. it was a profound sound made by this 13-feet tall tree as its leaves ruffled in the strong wind. being medium in size, the sound was indeed thunderous..like a forest within a single tree. i had to stop in my step to check it out. hmmm, wish i could share this on video but unfortunately, i got too carried away.

apparently, nice weather makes happy people. i could sit in this soul soothing sunshine for hours taking in this naive beauty of nature.

so there you go, yummy duck rice and a nice walk in the park (and how could i forget, a great company cum camera man)...makes half my day.
i'm grateful for life.

- more picture updates soon -

the slow death of you

my lappy either almost died on me or it was transforming...

ok..it was probably the transformer trailer that got my mind sidetracked. but it freaked me out with the sound it made as i was busy typing on notepad. i was so stunned by that strange sound that i didn't know which button to press when i brought out my handphone to record the sound. i thought my hard disk was going to die on me, again. and there was nothing i could do. the sound was like a small engine running. and the only time i hear noises coming from my lappy was when my hard disk really KO-ed. but from my knowledge, hard disk makes clicking sound...not this engine-running kinda thing. will try to post the sound clip once i find out how (IF my lappy survives a few more days til i get back to singapore). it's scary. crossed my mind to call the technical support toll-free line but realized my 3years complete cover warranty has already expired. damn!

the other strange thing is the 'engine stopped running' when i pressed CTRL + S on notepad. but what has the notepad application gotta do with sounds coming out from the left-hand side of my lappy? sigh...

is this a sign telling me that it's time to let my poor donkey R.I.P and get a replacement now? "nooo..", says bank account and pocket.